Dive Bar Qualifications.
Dives do not need to have a certain number or all of these to be
considered a dive, but you know you're at a dive if the bar you are at
meets any of these qualifications.
1. Must have Rainier, Olympia, or PBR on draft or in a 12 oz. or 16 oz.
can.
2. Bathrooms must smell like Northwest Seed & Pet
3. Posters/Beer signs are extremely old possibly displaying beers that
no longer exist.
4. Average age of the clientele over 50.
5. Jukebox must be 50% country
6. No more then 2 microbrews on tap.
7. Stall in men's room has no door.
8. There is a cigarette machine
9. Pickled eggs or Hot Mama's must be on display.
10. If bartender is female, she must look skanky or haggard.
11. If bartender is male, he must be missing one or more teeth.
12. Walls are decorated mostly with Nascar memorabilia
13. Limited or no food menu.
14. Regulars either look or possibly could be homeless.
15. Busch/Busch Light cans available.
16. Unpaved or no parking lot.
17. No high end alcohols.
18. No martinis!
19. The game room has either Big Buck Hunter or Silverstrike Bowling.
Bonus points if they have both.
20. Stools, chairs, and booths need to be reupholstered.
21. You have the feeling that you might get shanked at any minute.
22. Bartender/Customer confrontations are common.